a letting go…
Each time in my life I am given the opportunity to deepen into surrender, and I do what I can in the moment to follow it, the experience is unique. I let go in different ways. I stand strong in others, and I soften to myself, and to life, in ways I didn’t know I could or ever would.
This time surrender looks like an inner strength, deeply grounded into Mother Earth, drawing from her nourishment and the nourishment I have cultivated for myself. It looks like standing on the edge of the wild ocean, my toes deep into the soft sand, letting the waves crash over me.
Now is not a time to run away or hide from their fierce power.
It is time to stand and know that I won’t get swept away by them, pulled under, gasping and struggling for air, even though there may be moments I will doubt this knowing.
So I settle in and let my body stretch and be flexible, moving and swaying with each wave that engulfs me. Knowing that it will also recede. Remembering that I have a strength within me that I can access more deeply in this process of surrender and trust.
If I simply stand here and feel it all, and let it be what it is in this moment, the waves will ebb and they will flow. And I will breath deeper and more freely in every pause.
Each wave leaves behind something on the shore for me, a gift of sorts.
Some will be shining and glimmering with a beauty I didn’t know I could grasp. Others will pull deeply into my heart and burn and ache and squeeze.
Then the time will come to collect the flotsam around me on this wild, beautiful beach. I will reverently place a collection in my precious tool-bag, and the others I will ceremoniously place on a bonfire and burn – let go, release, surrender to another form.
I don’t think surrender necessarily feels easier each time I open to it, but it does feel different; deeper trust. I have more tools and support to reach for, and in each unique opportunity, there is a similarity, a familiarity that I can touch and know that I have been here before, in an earlier version of myself.
There is the sense of another form of embodied home-coming.