Last week I made a decision I wouldn’t have been able to make 6 months or a year ago. I chose to honour my body over everything else. This meant I cancelled a Bee Sensual workshop I had spent time creating and planning. I had even emailed people on my list about it, but suddenly I knew I had to stop and listen to my body.
My inner conversation around the topic went something like this…
Side 1: I have to put myself out there more. I have to grow my following. I have to promote Bee Sensual products and the work I do in the world. If I don’t do it now, I’m just procrastinating and being non-committal and I’ve got to pull myself together.
Side 2: But I’m just so exhausted, physically mentally and emotionally. I’m tired. Can’t I just hide from the world and sleep for months? I just really want to go slowly right now. This is the first Spring in 5 years where my body hasn’t been in pain and so I just want to go gently and enjoy. Can’t I do that instead?
Side 1: I think that’s just being lazy and copping out. What gives you the right to just swan around? Anyway, there are so many creative ideas that need pursuing!
Side 2: But I’m not swanning around, I’m doing things. They’re just other things, like healing, like resting my body, doing what needs to be done to keep businesses going, animals fed, exercised and looked after and I’m prioritising my emotional health. Remember that affects my physical health too! This is the first time I’m really doing this, give me a break!
You get the idea.
I know, it might all sound a little crazy, but surely you’ve had a mental conversation that sounds a little similar? It took me a while to figure out which voice was my Inner Mean Girl and which one was my Inner Wisdom, or whether there was an in-between. The thing is, in the past I have sometimes procrastinated and been non-committal, so it made it trickier to figure it out.
Then I spoke to a friend, and as I spoke it out loud I could feel in my body just how truly tired I am. Just how exhausted I’m feeling, as if this year is finally catching up with me. It’s been a big one! Sometimes it’s easy for me to discount just how much has happened this year: three overseas trips, four surgeries, countless hours and days of emotional ups and downs, and lots of energy towards physical healing. Among other things, it has been traumatic, let’s face it. So maybe, just maybe, my body wants time to process and catch up.
When you listen to your body, she always tells you the truth!
I set a New Moon intention on the 19th of November, to honour my body as sacred and do whatever it is that she wants in terms of movement – walking, swimming, dancing, yoga, swaying or lying down and resting. A few days later this Bee Sensual realisation occurred, and saying no to actually going ahead with it was part of honouring this intention.
Honour my body.
I am sacred.
My body is sacred.
As Harlan often says to me, just because you’re excited to get back up and into the world with all your creative ideas, you won’t be out in the world too long if you burn yourself out again in the process. Great point. Such wise words, but my creative brain struggles with that one. She wants to be busy all the time.
So here I am, listening to my Inner Wisdom. Learning to pause or slow down when I need to. Listening to my wise body and hearing what she needs at this time to feel fully honoured and respected for all she does and has been through. I choose to honour my body, my closest companion and friend for life…I choose to listen to her every day to the best of my ability. That is my commitment to me.
How can you honour your body more in this moment? Today? This week?